vrijdag 5 oktober 2012

Ma vie en France c:


My 18th bday cake c:
Papa came as a surprise visit on my bday, all the way from Holand
on his motorcycle (:
With Martin & Loulou <3

With Karine (:
With Karine & Martin (:
With Martin on the Eiffel Tower with the view on La Seine c:
With Serge on the Eiffel Tower (:
Again with Martin on the Eiffel Tower (:
Relax time is spend a lot with a guitar and my voice (:
18! And on the street in which I live

woensdag 19 september 2012

Tumblr apocalypse 19-IV-'12



Hahaha, so, Tumblr's fucked up x]
So I thought, hey, why not post something on my (quite dead) blog again?
I'm living in France now (: In N├ęzel, a little village near Paris c: As an aupair!
But since Karine (the mother) is in Corsica for a play (they're all actors and musicians here, so lovely c:), Serge (the father) and Martin (the older brother, about my age, who lives here half the time, which is nice (: ) are to a concert, and I've been home alone the whole evening (with Simon, the kid, of course), I've had quite some free time since 8 pm x] So, my blog came up in my mind, the moment tumblr crashed and I saw this nice GIF, but couldn't reblog it, because of the nice little apocalypse on tumblr x]
I'm going to have to make a post with all the pictures of france till now! And of course of my personal life x] Me and ex bf are back together x] Eventho we're miles apart x] Life's weird ;)
But, not now, it's getting quite late.. Perhaps tomorrow, I'll have a bunch of time then too c:

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vrijdag 3 augustus 2012

Avec Kristinatjee c:






25 Things To Do Before You Turn 25


1. Make peace with your parents. Whether you finally recognize that they actually have your best interests in mind or you forgive them for being flawed human beings, you can’t happily enter adulthood with that familial brand of resentment.
2. Kiss someone you think is out of your league; kiss models and med students and entrepreneurs with part-time lives in Dubai and don’t worry about if they’re going to call you afterward.
3. Minimize your passivity.
4. Work a service job to gain some understanding of how tipping works, how to keep your cool around assholes, how a few kind words can change someone’s day.
5. Recognize freedom as a 5:30 a.m. trip to the diner with a bunch of strangers you’ve just met.
6. Try not to beat yourself up over having obtained a ‘useless’ Bachelor’s Degree. Debt is hell, and things didn’t pan out quite like you expected, but you did get to go to college, and having a degree isn’t the worst thing in the world to have. We will figure this mess out, I think, probably; the point is you’re not worth less just because there hasn’t been an immediate pay off for going to school. Be patient, work with what you have, and remember that a lot of us are in this together.
7. If you’re employed in any capacity, open a savings account. You never know when you might be unemployed or in desperate need of getting away for a few days. Even $10 a week is $520 more a year than you would’ve had otherwise.
8. Make a habit of going outside, enjoying the light, relearning your friends, forgetting the internet.
9. Go on a 4-day, brunch-fueled bender.
10. Start a relationship with your crush by telling them that you want them. Directly. Like, look them in the face and say it to them. Say, I want you. I want to be with you.
11. Learn to say ‘no’ — to yourself. Don’t keep wearing high heels if you hate them; don’t keep smoking if you’re disgusted by the way you smell the morning after; stop wasting entire days on your couch if you’re going to complain about missing the sun.
12. Take time to revisit the places that made you who you are: the apartment you grew up in, your middle school, your hometown. These places may or may not be here forever; you definitely won’t be.
13. Find a hobby that makes being alone feel lovely and empowering and like something to look forward to.
14. Think you know yourself until you meet someone better than you.
15. Forget who you are, what your priorities are, and how a person should be.
16. Identify your fears and instead of letting them dictate your every move, find and talk to people who have overcome them. Don’t settle for experiencing .000002% of what the world has to offer because you’re afraid of getting on a plane.
17. Make a habit of cleaning up and letting go. Just because it fit at one point doesn’t mean you need to keep it forever — whether ‘it’ is your favorite pair of pants or your ex.
18. Stop hating yourself.
19. Go out and watch that movie, read that book, listen to that band you already lied about watching, reading, listening to.
20. Take advantage of health insurance while you have it.
21. Make a habit of telling people how you feel, whether it means writing a gushing fan-girl email to someone whose work you love or telling your boss why you deserve a raise.
22. Date someone who says, “I love you” first.
23. Leave the country under the premise of “finding yourself.” This will be unsuccessful. Places do not change people. Instead, do a lot of solo drinking, read a lot of books, have sex in dirty hostels, and come home when you start to miss it.
24. Suck it up and buy a Macbook Pro.
25. Quit that job that’s making you miserable, end the relationship that makes you act like a lunatic, lose the friend whose sole purpose in life is making you feel like you’re perpetually on the verge of vomiting. You’re young, you’re resilient, there are other jobs and relationships and friends if you’re patient and open.
January Nelson, 06/25/12

maandag 30 juli 2012

Face post






Just a little face post.
I always wear my glasses, of course, I have an eyesight problem of -8.
But people tell me I look really good without them, because of my huge eyes,
which are drastically reduced by my glasses x]
I had contacts a while, but that didn't work out. Understatement of the century... x]
But I've been thinking about the thought of getting eye surgery.
I mean, I've had eyeproblems since the age of 3 xD
It would be about time to see normal.
Hmm, maybe, in the future perhaps c:

zondag 29 juli 2012

We must be killers, children of the wild ones

Soo... It's been a while.
I just didn't have the time to post, and if I had, I was more in the mood to be on tumblr or 9gag for instance, and to be quite honest, I forgot to allot too x]
A bunch of things has happened...
I graduated, the first season of LOK is finished (and 3 more are coming c:), me and ex-bf had more than enough drama's, I went on vacation to Italy (will make a individual post about that), I lost a friend, I gained some friends, I restored contact with friends from the past (but where our friendship went horribly wrong), I'm still looking for a place to be an aupair abroad upcoming year, I started watching 'Teen Wolf' (an awesome tv program c:), I felt happy allot, but also felt miserable some times (which I hate, because it's not like me to feel bad), I found some new good music (and shared that with one of my best friends c:).

But now, I just feel empty. I feel like a few years back. Like life's a blur.
I was so glad that I started to live day by day again (thanks to one of my best friends, Kim) 2 years back. But for some reason, the blur is back. It's like I can't focus.
I always had trouble focussing. But I never worried about it, I always thought it was quite handy, not having to care about allot. About nearly nothing. Easily surpressing anything that went wrong, every feeling that was negative, and just live in this nice blur, where everything was good and fine, or nothing at all. At least no negative feelings. And most of the times I surpressed things unknowingly.
But lately it's starting to worry me. Is it healthy to surpess everything so easily? I've been told not.
But the blur is back, and at one side I'm happy about it. I don't have to care about Tariq (ex-bf) for instance. I don't care about him, nor his feelings. But strangely I'm still drawn to him. I still love him. I shouldn't, I have every reason to hate him, and I do, but I also feel this strange dearness to him. But I feel cold.
The only ones I care about now are my best friends. And Bello.
I just find it hard to focus. Why can't I focus? I'm so incredibly easily distracted. And other times I'm just in a whole other place. I'm not aware of the things happening around me. When I am, I notice every detail, every prop in the background, every nervous eyetwitch, doesn't matter how slightly, shifts in bodylanguage if I say something, or when they say something. I observe. That I can do. I'm aware of every detail, notice things most people don't.
But I'm lost in my own thoughts allot lately. Always had that, that my mind wandered of to other places, memories or people. But it happens more and more lately.
The blur came back once I started dating Tariq. People worried about me, and later told me they actually saw the light disappearing from my eyes. I cut him out of my life when he told me he kissed some brat. But he found his way back in. And the blur is back again. But a different blur now, it's cold. I'm cold.
It's not like I can't enjoy myself anymore, not that I'm depressed or something, no, quite the contrary. But I would be lying if I said I'm happy all the time. Which sucks, because in the past, I used to be happy all the time. I want to be that girl again. I was again when I cut Tariq out of my life. But the blur reappeared when he did. Should I banish him from my life, my mind, my thoughts, my dreams again? I should, but I know it would only be a matter of time before he would be back again. He's sick. Sick and twisted, and the only thing he does is playing with my feelings. Fucking with my feelings. But somehow, in that sick mind of his, in that twisted brain of his, he manages to love me unconditionally. And for some reason, so do I. And I also feel like I'm kind of obligated to stay in his life. I feel kind of responsible. For what? For his sanity? I'm pretty sure he'll manage without me. But he has next to no one besides me. At least, that's how he feels about it. But to be honest, he did scare most of his friends away.
I just don't know what to do, and I can't bring up the feeling of caring enough to find a solution at the moment.
Hmm, well, we'll see.

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Btw; I'm in love with Stiles Stilinski from Teen Wolf, and I can't wait until the next episode comes out tomorrow c: I don't know for sure, but I think it's the season finale ;o
Stiles <3

dinsdag 22 mei 2012

Good day c: [ Hyper blog, typing with the speed of light ]

Today, I just felt SO HAPPY c:
I might not fail chemistry. I might pass chemistry. I MIGHT FUCKING PASS CHEMISTRY!
I hate that subject, it has been my only really bad (read; really really incredibly) bad subject, in which I sucked big time, for two years now!
But today I had my final in chemistry. And I might have a C. YES, A FUCKING C.
And Paul, best friend, and I had fun together.
And another best friend of mine, Kim, with who I worried a bit about our friendship, because she was a bit cold to me lately, and I had fun, what started because she demanded me to come to her bday c:
And another good friend of mine, Kristina, and I had incredibly much fun, together with other great friends of mine (like Vivian, Lena, Thijs, etc).
And exboyfriend declared his love to me again, just now x]
And all my other finals are going incredibly well ;D

I hated the last couple of weeks, because of all the stress and social problems (I don't like to admit I have social problems sometimes, because all I want from people is to keep them as my friends, I don't like it when somebody's mad at me, or doesn't like me, so admitting it is a great deal for me x]). My hair was even falling out! Which it never does! So, I hated that time. But now, last week was fun, this week is incredibly much fun, my finals are done next tuesday (4 down, 3 to go, tomorrow 1 and next tuesday the last 2), and then I'll have my summervacation! ;DDD

I'm just so happy c:


And I drank a cup of coffee this evening, and I don't react that well on caffeine.
Give me one sip of energiedrink, and I'll be jumping around.
Normally, I already am energetic, jolly, happy and jumping and dancing around, ask anyone, they will all agree, but with cafeine, or something similar, I just basically become like that squirrel from 'Over The Edge'.
But I thought I had to study untill late, but now I don't have to anymore, because of my C!
So I'll just learn in the morning with some friends, and do what I have to do then.
So, basically, I'm feeling really really really hyper and I'm running around and wrestling with my dog, etc.
And the hyperness increases my happiness, so I feel like I'm about to burst xD

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Yeah, this is pretty much how I talk oftenly, yeah.



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I should never drink coffee, ever again.
My friends run away screaming when I drink some of it.
Or energiedrink.
And when I'm just slightly more hyper than I usually am, they instantly go like;
"Have you been drinking Coke? Redbull? Coffee?"
I should never drink coffee, or even coke, ever again.
To bad I have a Coke addiction c:

zondag 20 mei 2012

Nightmares



I woke up like this quite a lot, for quite a long period of time.
After that same night mare, that I had over and over again.
WIP.

zaterdag 19 mei 2012

New Korra Episode feels [ Episode 7, The Aftermath ]

Alright, I've just watched the latest Korra episode, and I'm just going to fangirl over it for a second. Brace yourself.

- HAHA. TOLD YA. TOLD YOU ALL. I KNEW THE SATO'S WERE SOMEHOW EQUALIST OR INVOLVED WITH THEM. I KNEW IT. HA!
- Asami, I love you, you're a badass, you and Korra be bff's, yes please. And she is such a badass racer.
- Bolin, omg, how you made me laugh, like, at least six times. ("Now you just stay put. That sounds familiar.. Why? Because you said it.")
- POOR KORRA. No, first Mako is being a total bitch, just because his fuckmate and her dad are being accused of being  bad guys (but okay, after realizing Korra was right -for which she had to do a shitload of effort, come on Mako, trust your friend!- he did save the day. At least, was planning too).
And after everything that happened that episode, Korra just kinda gives him away! D; My poor Makorra feels! D;
And poor Korra, she looked so sad ;c So gave him up so that her new friend can cope practically losing her own father. Muhhh.. That scene where she's on Mako's back unconscious, and later conscious, spirits, that made the feels flutter c: But, I'm still on board this ship. I'll go down with this ship.
- My Borra feels tho.. They have like aaaaaaall opportunities now! Eventho he didn't make a move on her, she was definitely checking his booty nd stuff when he was in his swimmingsuit c: I my taste, to little of Bolin this episode. This ship, I want to come true too so badly!
- And Lin is such a BAMF. She is. But how could she not be? She's the daughter of Toph. Going outside the law and stuff, I love you Lin Bei Fong
- But, one mystery, in the american tv guides it said that Tenzin had a secret. What secret? Did I miss it? Was it a mistake, meaning the secret of him and Lin having a past of hooking up, and they made a mistake putting it in this weeks synopsis? If there was a secret about Tenzin, it would be him being a badass airbender.
- AND THE WATERWRESTLING BENDING BROTHERS. OMFG. NOM.
- THE CABBAGE GUY LEGACY, HAHA, PERFECT. EVEN CABBAGE GUY STATUE!
- What happened to Tarlokk? He did the intro, being all like 'All heil Tarlokk' -which reminds me, what the hell happened to Shiro? You know, the announcer guy!- and after that, no sign of him the whole episode.
- Hehehe, that sneeze thing Mako did made me laugh, hard. x]
- OMG, THEY'RE GOING TO LIVE ON TEMPLE ISLAND. YES. YES. YES. SLEEP OVERS. LIVING ALL TOGETHER, HAPILY EVER AFTER, AMON JUST GIVES UP OR SOMETHING, AND IT'S ALL UNICORNS AND ICECREAM AND RAINBOWS LIKE IKKI SAID IT WOULD BE.